simple tricks to a happy marriage

since husband & i have been married for coming up on two years in november, we're still pretty new at this game & i tend to take in all the advice i can on how to have a happy & successful marriage. i'm always humbled by the couples i meet that have made things not just "work" but who have made their relationship fun-loving throughout, the couples who have been married for years & fall more in love with each other every day. 

one of the best pieces of advice that i have ever heard, i heard years before i got married, but it has never left my mind, 'you & your spouse come first, your children come second.' a challenge to uphold, i'm sure, but it seems like a bit of advice that makes the most sense if you can work at it everyday. annnnd... what's life without a little challenge anyway, right?!

the reason for this post is because i read these few simple tricks to a happy marriage on huffington post & wanted to share since i have a lot of friends & family that have been married for a long time, i have a lot of newlywed friends & family, and a lot of friends & family that may need a little relationship inspo! 

1. be nice. "choose kindness whenever you can-- you should be at least as nice to your spouse as you would a stranger or you were when you started dating."

2. enjoy each other's company. "my wife & i are each other's best friend. we like each other's company. we like having fun. we like doing stuff together. we are honest & direct with one another."

3. say "i love you" as much as possible. "overuse 'i love you'. seriously."

4. be honest. "be honest about shit that pisses you off, don't sweat the small stuff, and have good sex."

5. limit outside influences. "out of state in-laws."

6. small tokens of love go a long way. 

7. distance can & will make the heart grow fonder. "have alone time. i believe that it helps if you or your partner go away for a couple of hours, a weekend or maybe a week once in a while."

8. be realistic. "me & my wife constantly acknowledge what we love about one another, but we also never forget about the 80/20 rule. no one person will ever give you a 100 percent of what you need, we estimate that we give each other about 80 percent of what the other person needs in a relationship. recognizing this allows you to see the reality of your partnership and not over romanticize it."

9. cherish each other. "don't forget how important the little things are, like a hug or compliment. don't take each other for granted."

10. be your own person. 

11. build a strong foundation of friendship. "you have to be friends. your husband or wife should be someone that you want to hang out with. of course you have to have the sexual aspect but that's not enough to sustain a relationship. you're going to go through hard times and you need to have someone who you want to spend your time with."

12. know that relationships are a two way street. "be honest about what you want and need and listen to your spouse about what they want & need."

13. lastly, no marriage is perfect-- and that's okay. "understand that nothing is perfect forever. there are going to be disagreements. there will be times when your partner says or does something that hurts you. the happy relationships will talk about it and work through it. the bad relationships will let it stew until it becomes an even bigger problem."

what advice do you have for a healthy & happy marriage or relationship?!